My Mom passed away on July 7th. It's been hard.
I was with her the last 7 days of her life...
the first 3 she was walking, moving around, eating...
then on the 4th of July it was as if she got on a slide...
and slid out of life.
Within one day, she couldn't walk,
then she couldn't move without extreme pain...
by 3:30 am she was crying out with so much pain we had to take her to hospital.
She had a 'do not resuscitate' form...so they gave her some pain meds and sent her home.
The next day she couldn't move.
Doctors said the cancer was dissolving her spine...
that's why she was in so much pain.
It seemed like the whole day was just about pain management with hospice help.
The night of the 5th she went into a coma and remained in a coma the whole day of July 6th.
I think she was waiting for my brother to get there.
As soon as he got there she was with us for 12 hours, then she quietly, with poise and grace, left her body.
She was my first dying person I've ever been with.
In all the darkness there was also an immense beauty.
I could feel her energy gently pulling itself out of her body.
After she was pronounced dead, I bathed her body with cherry blossom body soap,
her favorite from bed bath and beyond. I also did her nails,
I put on her make-up, and dressed her then I laid beside her body and snuggled
her for the last time.
When I got up and sat in the chair next to her bed, I was filled with a warmth in my body,
my heart overflowed with love, peace appreciation...mostly though I felt this amazing love like never before. I was in some kind of bliss and ecstasy.
Where she went was even more beautiful than she or I ever imagined.
She gifted me with a taste of the bliss of her afterlife.
I was in such joy, feeling so much love - a love I have never experienced before. It consumed my everything. My body, my mind my soul. She was happy and this was now her everything.
I was so happy for her.
The last month of her life we talked extensively about life after death, her past, her present, her dreams unfulfilled and her dreams fulfilled. I have changed as a result of this; changed as a person, daughter, a sister and as a long-time partner to my boyfriend.
On the last day before she slipped onto the “slide back to her home”, she said...
"I wish I had taken care of my body like you." And after another bit of silence, she said
"live your dreams Elisabeth" There's a place for your dreams fulfilled in your life and if you don't live them...there will always be a missing spot in your life."
I've taken this to heart...and between my grieving tears and bouts
of intense sadness from losing her...
I'm also experiencing periods of listening. Listening for the answers and clarity
on how to design my dream life.
My take away I guess from being with my mom as she went on to her afterlife was to
soak up every moment you have with your parents.
The simply act of sitting next to my mother while she was dying...
and feeling the love and bliss as she made it home
are some of the greatest moments of my life.
3907 Medical Parkway #102